Let’s face it, I’m a tall chick. At almost 6 foot, I’ve now grown used to the fact my legs impersonate 2 minute noodles/Bega stringers (you know those cheese sticks that claim to be all natural cheese but are canary yellow and look distinctly like plastic).
Where is the lie?
Anyway, after my more than two decades on this earth existing as someone who is not of average height, there are 5 things I’d like to kindly request you do not say to/ask me. Ever again. Literally, never.
One: ‘You’re Tall!’
No shit Sherlock. It’s amazing how many people actually say this to me, as though it’s a bloody revelation. I’ve been tall for 21 years, and who would have thought that I’D ALREADY REALISED. Pls people, I’ve had enough.
Two: How did you get so tall?
Hmmmm… I just… have no idea? Mum? Dad? Please explain? I’ve had a family member ask me this, while I was standing next to my parents and sister, who are 6 foot 2, 5 foot 11 and 5 foot 9 respectively. Amazing. Now I just like to pretend I’ve had leg surgery to extend my shins.
Three: Why are you wearing high heels?!
Because. I. Can. Wear. Whatever. The. Hell. I. Please. *insert ten upside-down smiling emojis*. If I had a dollar for every guy in a club who’s asked me this, I really would be able to afford leg surgery. I will wear my stilettos for as long as I bloody well please.
Four: How’s the weather up there?
No. Just no.
Five: So…. exactly how tall are you?
Before you ever ask someone this, just contemplate if you really, truly, need to know. Is it going to be beneficial to your world of knowledge? Probably not. Will it irritate me? Definitely yes. So don’t.
I already battle through legs that take twice as long to shave, nice dresses that turn out to be tops, and constantly whacking my head getting in and out of my car. Please, give a sista a break and refraaaaaain from the overused questions/jokes.